Things NOT to say

“They’re in a better place.” This never feels good to hear. Never.
“It’s all in God’s plan.” Other than making an assumption that everyone believes in the same things, it also just doesn’t help to think our suffering was part of any plan.
“I didn’t want to bring it up…” Why? Chances are they are already thinking of it. A lot of times people don’t want to bring it up because it’s uncomfortable for them, not the person grieving.
“You’re so strong.” While the intention may be good, nobody wants to have to be strong in the ways that grief asks of you.

Grief Organizations

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Mental Health Resources

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Grief Journal

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Supporting someone who’s grieving

This may be the hardest, but most importand advice.

SIT WITH THEM IN THE PAIN.

You can’t fix it. You can’t casserole-bake-your-way-out-of-it. You can’t find a silver lining that will relieve their pain. There is no avoiding the inevitable truth that is: Their person is gone.

Sit there. Listen. Make sure they drink some water or try to eat. Drop off the dinner, pick up the groceries. Don’t ask “what can I do?” or “let me know if you need anything.” They can’t collect their thoughts to tell you what they need.